Last night I dreamed:

1. Penn Badgley started following me on Twitter. I've never seen an episode of Gossip Girl, but he WAS in a movie I watched last night. (Margin Call, it was good!)

2. Ashley Olsen was rude to me while I was looking at nail polish in a store. I told her pop music sucked.

3. I had open, weeping, bloody wounds on my scalp. Similar to other stress related dreams I have which usually include holes in my skin, my teeth rotting and falling out, boils on my face that I squeeze until puss comes out and, most popular of all from my sick and twisted brain, bugs living under and crawling out of my skin.

Vacation time yet?!

Comment! (5) | Recommend!

I need a vacation.

I've been working non-stop for two years. Prior to that I was unemployed, which I guess sounds kind of vacationy, but is in fact a terrible living nightmare that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Well. Maybe this one person... maybe. maybeeeee... I don't know, people can change right? ugh, crazy b. I wish I spoke Spanish.

But back to now, I'm overworked and tired and we've gone through some internal changes that are making things difficult in this office.

And I also don't have any friends here, other than my sisters, so letting off steam is very difficult. Edward hears it all the time and at this point is pretty numb to any work related anything I say. And I had the day off on Friday and decided to spend the afternoon with my sister who decided we should go to Goodwill and we were there for like an hour and I go there all the time because it's like, a block away from where I live but she had to look at all the stuff just in case she found a magical treasure or something, and she spent like 30 bucks there which is awesome for Goodwill but not awesome for me because I really don't like going there, and then I wanted her to just go to the mall with me on a mission for sunglasses and she was like ugh my feet hurt i have to pee but not here take me home. Then I had to pick up Edward and it was not a very fun day off. She doesn't understand, she doesn't work full time.

My cat is too aloof for me to talk to. And our other cat is just kind of a dummy and I shouldn't be talking to animals about work related stuff anyway, they don't even care.

I want to take a vacation, but can't because of our three person office situation. Which is about to become a two person office situation and oh my god I can't even think about it right now or I'll go crazy.

After Wednesday my work life is going to become a total misery. I don't know what to doooooo.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

Wedding planning is TOO HARD somebody else do it for meeeeeeeeeeeee.

I wasn't one of those kids who planned their wedding! Marriage wasn't something I factored into my future and now I'm lost and overwhelmed and also I'm poor and weddings are expensive and the other day Edward was all like, "Honestly, I'd rather spend money on ANYTHING ELSE," and I was like well I guess you shouldn't have put a ring on it you big dummy because this is happening and there's nothing you can do to stop it sorrrryyyyyy my sisters already know there's no going back now plus my gramma is SO OLD and I'd like her to be able to go while she still knows who I am (senile dementia, like whoa there, hold your horses, I gotta get married here, you know?).

Also, my family is way too big I did my "must haves" list and it was 90% family and I'm already up to 70 people what am I gonna dooooo, they're going to want to like, EAT and DRINK BOOZE and that stuff is 'spensy you guys! And can we TALK ABOUT DRESSES???

WHY SO EXPENSIVE IT'S JUST WHITE FABRIC. Luckily Ann Taylor exists and I think I found something for like, $300? But then my sister is like "FITTINGS ARE SUPER FUN LET'S DO THAT?" And I'm like, ugh no way I'm too fat and I get all sweaty when I try clothes on because trying stuff on is stressful, but then my mom is going to be there also and my sisters and who knows who else, but it always seems like a lot of people go to those things, unecessarily?

And now my mom's friend is like, "I have my old dress from when I got married in the 80s AND my grandmothers dress from when she got married who even knows when and it's yellowed lace but you should do something with it!" And she's like 10 feet taller than me AND thinner than me and I wouldn't know what to do with someone else's dress?

And I've never even been IN a wedding OR like, a bachelorette party so I don't know about any of this stuff????!!!!!!????

I'm going to elope except nope, Edward's mom would be SO SAD.

And can we talk about how lopsided this ceremony is going to be in terms of family? Because he only has five immediate family members. And his gramma might not come because she's a crazy old French lady, and I'm pretty sure his uncle doesn't even LIKE me* so he might not come, and then it would just be his mom and dad and brother and his brother's going to be IN the wedding.

And have I told you guys that I have zero friends here? All of my friends are in Alabama and I feel real bad asking them to fly out here but I also REALLY NEED THEM TO COME TO MY WEDDING. Otherwise it's going to be JUST my family.

I say "like" a lot when I ramble. I'm only human OKAY.

*Edward's uncle, in fact, has only met me once and he probably has no problem with me (said Edward when I told him I thought his uncle didn't like me), I just don't know him well and assume everyone thinks I'm annoying. And after this like-tastic post, you can probably understand WHY I think everyone thinks I'm annoying!

I AM A SPAZ.

Comment! (4) | Recommend!

today a homeless lady was like, "Wow, I like your rainboots," so I said, "Thanks!" and she asked me where I got them and I said, "Uh, the internet." And she got REALLY mad and said, "RWAHHH, THE INTERNET?!?" and gave her friends this, you know, LOOK.

I felt bad?

Comment! (10) | Recommend!